Fingertips

[Verse 1] When I look back, tracing fingertips over plastic bags Thinking, "I wish I could extrapolate some small intention Or maybe just get your attention for a minute or two" [Verse 2] Will I die? Or will I get to that ten-year mark? Where I beat the extinction of telomeres? And if I do, will you be there with me, Father, Sister, Brother? [Verse 3] Charlie, stop smoking Caroline, will you be with me? Will the baby be alright? Will I have one of mine? Can I handle it even if I do? It's said that my mind Is not fit, or so they said, to carry a child I guess I'll be fine [Verse 4] It wasn't my idea, the cocktail of things that twists neurons inside But without them, I'd die They say there's irony in the music, it's a tragedy, I See nothing Greek in it Give me a mausoleum in Rhode Island with Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, and Dave Who hung himself real high In the National Park sky, it's a shame and I'm crying right now To get to you, save you, if I take my life Find your astral body, put it into my arms Give you two seconds to cry Take you home, I, I'll give you a blanket Your spirit can sit and watch TV by my side 'Cause, baby, I Ran through a time when I felt you were doing it [Verse 5] I couldn't handle it, I was in Monaco I couldn't hear what they said on the telephone I had to sing for the prince in two hours Sat in the shower Gave myself two seconds to cry It's a shame that we die [Verse 6] When I was fifteen, naked, next-door neighbors did a drive-by Pulled me up by my waist, long hair to the beach side I wanted to go out like you, swim with the fishes That he caught on Rhode Island beaches But, sometimes, it's just not your time [Verse 7] Caroline, what kind of mother was she to say I'd end up in institutions? All I wanted to do was kiss Aaron Greene and sit by The lake, twisting lime into the drinks that they made Have a babe at sixteen in the town I was born in, and die [Verse 8] Aaron ended up dead and not me What the fuck's wrong in your head to send me away, never to come back? Exotic places and people don't take the place of being your child I give myself two seconds to cry [Verse 9] Let it crash over me Like the waves in the sea Call me Aphrodite, as they bow down to me [Verse 10] Sunbather, moon chaser, queen of empathy I give myself two seconds to breathe And go back to being a serene queen I just needed two seconds to be me